Spicy Sneezy

Just made some hot chile sauce for dumplings, leaned over for a sniff and jumped around like a rabid Ring-tailed Lemur. Good times.

Review of American History X

This allegory of (north) American class and race struggles does a very good job of provoking thought. I think something gets lost in translation though. The violence and systemic manipulation of the individuals showcased in the film are pretty accurate. However I don't think it's quite “on the mark”.

Something is missing.

One thing that is not missing is the comfortable Hollywood ending. Perhaps that's the reason that although the film does resonate with me, it doesn't convince me. Would never make my top ten, even though I do enjoy it.

It's a grainy fax of what really goes on. If I made the film, I would have also made a comparison of how discrimination is around us all the time. Hiring practices, the way people are treated in stores, etc.

I still give it a 7.5/10

Thoughts on Eviction

Well, it turns out that the neighbours upstairs will be gone by April 15th. Thank goodness for that! They weren't the worst neighbours as far as noise goes but they sure as hell were not the best. Way too many disturbed nights because of them since they moved in. Hopefully the next ones will be silent monks that float over the floor and have taken a vow of silence.

I don't know what caused them to get so behind in their bills. I don't particularly care either.

However they certainly don't seem to have done anything to remedy the situation, and now this is what they find themselves in. On days when I'd work from home over the past year I realised that neither one of them were working.

I think that if one or both of them had obtained a job of any sort they would have been able to find a way out of this situation before it came to this.

Bon voyage.

Corn Starch is Your Friend + A Crack at Some Tex Mex Chicken Morsels

My cooking tip today. Corn starch is your friend. It's very useful when you want to thicken a sauce quickly. Tex Mex things like taco filling, or Asian sauces benefit from this. Just be sure to combine it with water in a separate container with water before adding it to avoid lumps. When you put it in a hot liquid as a slurry it will thicken a sauce quickly and well.

Today I'm test cooking some super spicy burrito style (sauced) tweaked 1/2" chicken meat for use as a nacho plate topping. Chili powder, garlic, cumin (a wee bit), cayenne (a lot), salt, onion powder, corn starch. It should turn out well, but I'm curious as to how the vast amount of cayenne I added will work out overnight as it's refrigerated.

It's pretty basic Tex Mex, brown and braise, but the corn starch speeds matters up depending on how much you add. I always make a decent amount of the corn starch slurry and set it aside, adding some immediately, but reserving some to balance heat/thickening time and desired consistency. You will find that at higher heat settings the thickening can sneak up on you.

Thoughts of a New Project - Cookbook

I'm pondering the idea of putting together a cookbook. It would be from the perspective of a man that lives alone that really enjoys food. Creativity, worldwide flavours combined in new and creative ways, relative simplicity requiring a solid but not extensive pantry.

Hmm, how does one put together a cookbook in a format that may be published for submission? Practice practice practice in the meantime. Experiment on friends, and maybe watch Julie and Julia, heh.

Super Amazing Music Festival in Montreal

An extravaganza of alternative industrial, EBM, darkwave, etc music!

A View of Celebrity Today

Had fun participating in Adrianne Curry's webcast tonight, such a nerd LOL (her). A woman who is married to a Brady. Time to hit the pillow soon I guess. Tomorrow is Thursday, one step closer to Saturday.

Ouf!

The Moment

People have a way of blinking, and missing the moment. Fantastic writing and so true.

Random

A long day. Tomorrrow will be shorter. A sojourn coming to an end. Finally. I wonder about possibilities and how they relate to hopes. Who knows. It's incredibly clear what I want.

Both to me and the person I want to be with. In any event it will take time.

Random thoughts.

I know she knows. I know she knows I know. We both know it will take some sorting time.

Musings on Outbursts

Clarification. Needed.

Occaisonally emotions are expressed out of frustration. The words shouldn't be taken literally. It's more like a group of words are a colour. The colour of a mood that one is feeling at one juncture. Those words are a snapshot of an instant and do not represent an overall feeling or attitude.

Sometimes a person just feels frustrated in the moment and they need to let off some steam. Emotion and feeling in a crucible. Sometimes that steam is let off in a surprisingly non-private fashion.

Such statements of emotion would not pass the test of Occam's razor. Far too complicated and full of silliness. Besides, not in any way a full representation of what I think or feel.

Hmm

I guess to make sense I should put some thought into what and why I make the choices I do. In any event, the Dentist's whitening is going to get used again!

A Day

Today was a day, yes. Something was off, hard to tell what it may have been. We'll see what it was. Perhaps partly another attack of male PMS.

Being Irrational

I've been thinking a lot tonight about things and wondering why I felt a hole in myself. After much introspection it's come to my attention of what the reason may be.

At first it seemed to be a classic example of the regular abandonment issues I have. This isn't the case though.

I trust.

I know there is no reason not to.

I just wish that when plans had changed and became more interesting that I could have been included. Makes me feel like a loser second class citizen. At least an offer would have been nice.

As it is, I'm sat at home watching films and waiting for an email. That is pretty lame.

It would apparently make me not good enough to be taken out as a partner to a social event.

That makes me rather sad. Also, kind of not terribly happy. We just reached a new modus of understanding. I don't want to be a tool and act like a jerk. However, I would have appreciated a signal that would have indicated some inclusion. What I feel I got was "Have a good night, I'll email you later when I'm home".

What would have been fantastic would have been, "Wow! I got to this party unexpectedly and would love you to come and be with me here.". Didn't happen.

I want us to be a couple. I do feel quite strongly about that fact. Even this was endorsed by a crazy woman in the Metro this morning.

Back to the Tudors then! Bon soir!

Hmm

How do you know if someone wants to be with you? How do you know if they deem you suitable? How do you demonstrate the fact you want to be with a person? How do you express your inner and awkward feelings?

A Note on Male PMS

It does seem to happen. I do recall reading some articles over the years about how males do have regular hormonal fluctuations. Meh, who knows? Some days people are just not 'firing on all cylinders'. When this is the case what do you say to someone that asks you what the issue is? When you don't even know the reason yourself, but you know you're acting differently, what do you say?

Perhaps the best thing to do is to just say you're feeling a bit off and hope that it's left at that. After all we're all human and have the right to have days that aren't as scintillating as others.

If people were 100% consistent day after day, that would probably be an indication that it was either a Stepford wife situation, or some sort of SSRI (or otherwise) was prescribed. This is not to say that having a varied take on life is an excuse to be a jerk. Nor is it a sanction to decide that you have 'cute' affectations of personality. On the other hand if the fluctuations are very broadly dramatic and destructive, perhaps seeking medical assistance would be necessary. It all depends on the pattern

Sometimes you just wake up and feel either blasé or annoyed or who knows what.

Today I woke up and felt good, but kind like I was looking at myself from outside. Neither good nor bad, but detached. In what could be best termed as a true 'meh' mood. There are some things I need to sort out related to family, and am digesting. It must have been one of those ambivelant days.

Anyhow, even though emotions may not have been communicated well today I think that my actions spoke volumes. I did curse and swear quite a lot, and rather elaborately while wrestling a heavy mirror onto a wall but I think the fact that I do care did show through.

Time to watch another episode from a new series to me: Californication. This is a very good show in my opinion, as most HBO shows tend to be. It certainly says a lot about male-ness. Maybe there will be a commentary about the first season as a whole at some point in the future.

The polishing begins...

Tonight a wine cup and a cake knife:

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

This weekend was interesting. Saturday was filled with an adventure in Montreal with I-330. We went “antiquing” as it were. It's a very gentrified sport. She wanted to go to what I call 'antique alley'; a stretch of Notre Dame here in Montreal that is rife with antique stores.

It was an interesting, varied, and at times rainy experience.

Highlight 1: right off the bat we found a great shop that does custom furniture. It looks to be of exceptional quality and they are so flexible that it seems you can design any piece you want.

Drawback: they work with pine, a soft wood. One would need to accept that over the years the material will attain a certain patina because of its nature.

Conclusion: we definitely neeed to go back and explore the possibilities that are entailed with this opportunity. Their prices, for what they offer seemed quite reasonable as well. I figure that we can use some negotiation skills to further get a great piece at a fair price. If that's what's wanted in the end.

Highlight 2: the first incredibly expensive antique shop.

Notable moment: seeing a 'partner desk' that cost $30 000.00!

Conclusion: we were definitely in rarified air at this point. Everything was stunningly beautiful but each piece was worth more than each car of each person I work with it seemed. The person working there was suitably indifferent, as we didn't pull up in a Rolls.

Saucy Thought: It would have been interesting to see if we could have gotten some attention from the 'staff' person by putting a coffee on a table.

Final Analysis: Beautiful things for those that have very wide budgets

Highlight 3: the other incredibly expensive antique shop where it seems I was deemed a potential thief

Notable moment: The woman working there told me it would be 'easier for me' if I left my back pack/man purse with her at the front desk. This is after having to be buzzed in the secure door.

Reaction: I was rather dumbfounded but aquiesced as it seemed so ridiculous that first of all I looked shady, and second it would be possible to fit a 400kg armoire in a small back pack.

Notable thought: For a place that has so many chandeliers that evidently cost more than $15 000.00 they should certainly hang them higher. I spent most of the time ducking and weaving under these things. In such a circumstance, if you hit and cut your head on their stock, it falls and is destroyed... do you buy it? Do you sue for shopping in danger?

Who knows.

Conclusion: An exceptionally surreal and bizarrre experience.

Highlight 4: the desks

Notable moment: I-330 apparently losing her mastery of the decimal system

Causational factor: the fact that these nice desks from an old refurb of the Ritz Carlton are a veritible steal

Notable thought: Must go back and follow up with more questions and examine the construction of these pieces. They were truly a fraction of what we'd seen

Conclusion: To be determined

So, that was the first half of the day. It involved walking quite a bit, and was very enjoyable. The latter half of the day was reflected by us trying to make pierogi from scratch. The whole kit and kaboodle.

This didn't turn out as perfectly as hoped for by either of us, but in retrospect turned out quite well.

It turned out well because we enjoyed doing it together and we learned all sorts of things about what to not do the next time. It was also really nice to see how we have evolved in the sense that we can identify when the other is getting frustrated and work around it to make things good.

This is more about me getting annoyed at dough making, but it seems a good idea to make it inclusionary.

The Creative Idea That Came From All of This

After seeing all of these antique bits and bobs, it occurred to me that I've been storing some family silver for a while. Exhumed it tonight. Turns out to be enough to totally cover my dining room table. The current project is to photograph the pieces all together. Then next to clean each one, and do a before and after of each piece. This will hopefully serve as a record of our family silver (at least what I have) for relatives.

The end goal being that each piece will have it's own sheet of paper to reflect research that I did about the manufacturer, date and place of sale, plus any other salient facts or family anecdotes that can be gathered.

So:

Something Old – Antique shop items

Something New – The custom furniture place

Something Borrowed – Not so much

Something Blue – The glass lining of the silver salt and pepper shakers that were unwrapped tonight

We

The book that I-330 gave me, where her monicker comes from is WE, by Yevgeny Zamyatin. I asked her to write about it and she was more verbose than I'll be. It's a great book that is as relevant now as it was when written in 1921. Interestingly, it was not published in the Soviet Union untill 1988.

I truly enjoyed this work, it's classic dystopian literature. I did need to keep reminding myself that it was a precursor to later works though. Does D-503 stray from One State because of the influence of I-330 or did he seek her out because he was straying from authority? I think the latter.

I've always enjoyed reading dystopian works because of their pure sterility. Human lives distilled into their most minimalistic form. By stripping away as much humanity as possible, it is then an examination of humanity in a crucible. The human strugggle for existence is key. This is a struggle we all live with, whether we know it or not. Most do not it seems, and are so much more like characters in this type of novel than they could comprehend.

People in general are little better than sheep and submit to treatment as such. 

As extreme a view dystopias present, utopias do the same, just at the opposite apex of the swing of the pendulum. I wouldn't want to live in either.

Below is I-330's take on the book:

We – a grotesque vision of a society through a looking glass 

 

A dichotomy between Utopia and Dystopia

I like seeing utopias as dreams we want to fulfill, and dystopias as the nightmares we attempt to escape. There is an underlying difference, however, in the perspective. One person’s utopia could be another person’s dystopia, for underneath the surface, utopias are the ultimate tyranny – one person’s usurped way of imagining society as it "should be", with no other versions or alternatives allowed. There is a point where utopia might almost seamlessly overlap with the fabric of dystopia.

A society where trying to take a mouthful of freedom was regarded as an act of dissidence and any individualistic attempt was considered opium for the masses can hardly be described as utopian. (Observant readers will certainly be able to find analogies to the works of Orwell and Huxley. Though the events that serve as the armature of We were, unfortunately, subsequently implemented in reality. Zamyatin must have had prophetic powers…) 

The novel serves as a critical and in-depth study of totalitarianism and its far-reaching repercussions, depicting a human being and his condition.

 

In a homogenous society described by Zamyatin We certainly exists. But does I exist? Is there any room for individualism? This question might be asked or looked at in two contexts: primo, in terms of the communist idea of existing in a community (but wouldn’t it be vegetating – being deprived of any traces of individualism and the opportunity to represent a subjective vision and a state of mind?); secundo, through a slightly more philosophical and provocative prism, encouraging us to interpret and analyze the human existence in general. 

The product of that gloomy era could be described as homo sovieticus, a neologism coined to describe a particular species of human beings generated in Soviet times – disciplined by the individualism-suction apparatus. The novel’s protagonist – a conformist serving as another screw of the Integral (as a synecdoche for an “ideal” society) would be this species’ prototype. He does have a chance (we always have a choice) to metamorphose and shed his cocoon, but he myopically refuses to do so. 

But doesn’t it lead to intellectual/social/emotional auto-destruction? 

 

Trotting around in our [largely] monochromatic lives, we could still ask ourselves a seemingly banal question: Who am I? How do I manifest myself in life?

I would be a dry homo sapiens (though a chirring cricket to some). A selective homo legens and a homo dicens (though some would say homo chastisingus). Unfortunately, a homo faber and a homo ludens in my own ways. 

It is hard to a sentient person, however, to conceive the idea of pursuing a chimera and leading a life as a homo sovieticus – a hybrid of a man and a Soviet screw!

Really, is depriving human beings of individualism and creating a hermetically sealed society a panacea for all of society’s ailments? 

How misanthropic could one be to create something as damaging and destructive?! Or was it the history with a capital H and its unstoppable flights of fancy? 

 

A pause for mental digestion...

Book Reports and Random Metro Thougts

I-330 wants me to do a book review of the work she gave me. I think if I have to do one, she ought to do one as well. She of course had read it previously, hence the selection; but it would be interesting to have her contribute her thoughts of the work to the post.

On another note, I've been wondering how it is that musicians in the Metro establish a sequence for performing or if there is a pecking order, especially for the prime spots. The one where I work is quite popular with the 'musicians'. In quotes because they certainly all are not. Far from it.

Do they have to register? Doesn't seem so.

Must they qualify? Doubtful.

If they must qualify are their spots poached by fakers? Most certainly.

Would it be more interesting if they were Fakirs? Damn right.

If a musician with a higher standing in the pack mentality of these musicians is challenged by a subordinate, what conflict ensues?

This could become a Discovery Channel special feature...

There is a wide variety of talent exhibited, that range also depending on who the person is that is enjoying or having the experience inflicted upon.

Drugs, Knives, and Stairs

Today, when walking with I-330 to the metro I mentioned a quote from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when it's waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye.”

I did omit the latter part about the knife as it wasn't relevant and I'd also forgotten it. This quote has been somewhat prevalent in my life for years. The reasons are not incredibly dramatic, but they are varied and linked. First off, it's a sample that is featured in a certain EBM band's music I'm a fan of, as are other samples from that film in other songs and remixes. It's a film that I was introduced to me as an example of Johnny Depp being fantastic and diverse in his abilities. It also relates somewhat to a previous relationship, where the person was enthusiastic about the concept of 'gonzo journalism'.

It's something that I am sensitive to and always pick up on. Connecting yet another dot in the evolution of my experience with this quote.

Mentioning the quote was a response to a playful push she gave me at the top of a set of stairs. She was most likely not attempting homicide, or at least the indicators would point in other directions (for now). It's interesting how random quotes can be mentioned because of random acts.

I've been conscious of this quote for nearly 10 years. It's quite odd how it crops up from time to time, in very unexpected ways.

Haven't read the book, but always have wanted to. It seems to wind up on that list everyone has, entitled “To Do” that never gets addressed. This being the list that you recall from time to time and kick yourself for forgetting the action items.

I think we all must make an effort to check items off the 'To Do' and move them to the 'Done' list. This is how life is meant to be lived. Otherwise it becomes stale and claustrophobic. At the very least, typical and boring.